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March 2007
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COFFEE COLA CHINAIdon’tkowwhyIneversawthisstuffbeforetoday.It’sbrilliant!!
TWICEhtecaffeineofordinarycola.It’slikethatBUZZBEERontheDrew
CareyshoworJOLTfromyearsback.WaitasecondwhileIitchmylegandget
myhairtolieflat.HEYIcanstandandtypewithonehand!!!!DidIsay
ithadTWICEthecaffeine???!!

So,wherewasI??

This liquid crack (NO), if it didn’t taste like vinyl on a bus seat smells (No, never up close!), would be a huge hit! It looks like a Safeway logo on the bottle I have (If it would just hold still I could read it…) and I guess is a knock-off of the stuff Coke introduced to France a couple of years ago. That was devilish, aye? The only think the French like as much as cheese and wine is COFFEE! Who has time for women when you are flying around Carrefour like a fart in a skillet?

I am sure this stuff has been souped up a bit and is already available in the prescription section of supermarket pharmacies in Japan.

I am a little disturbed that they engineered it to froth when you put it into a glass. It looks horribly like recycled Guinness (Again, NO! what’s wrong with you people?) with its flat head of foam.

My bottle, It’s Empty! It’s Empty! I want another one! Now!, was made in Beijing and probably flew down here on its own accord. Maybe they will start brewing it with Pearl River water. It will probably taste the same only chunkier.

It terrifies me that Chinese Taxi Drivers might drink and drive on this stuff….Those guys already have a variant hybrid of St. Vitus’ Dance and Turretts Syndrome; all they need now is this new artificial symptom inducer and WHOOOOOOO!!!!

Give it a try, but have paramedics on speed (ha ha) dial….I am off: I am running down the 27 flights of my stairs to the 7/11 to give this stuff a second try.


13 Responses to “Coffee Cola in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”


  1. chase Says:

    I think pepsi has that kind of flavour here in Norway


  2. Miss Bolly Says:

    Haha, definitely one of your funniest posts.


  3. Elhouse Says:

    when are they going to release the diet version….


  4. admin Says:

    DIET??? Truffles, since when did french people care about DIETS?

    Chase, is it really you? Welcome back! How is life in Europe? I added you to the blogroll…

    Miss Bolly, Getting a lot of hits on your Bollywood Blog (http://Missbolly.com) Good Golly Miss Bolly?


  5. chase Says:

    Yup it is me! I am just okay kindof busy with filming and studies so wasnt able to really visit the blogworld alot. Thanks for adding me btw!


  6. Jason Says:

    They’ve sell the coke version here in the states. (Although it’s becoming increasingly rare, which leads me to believe that it will soon die…) It’s called ‘Black Coke’. Yeah it’s not bad, but it’s just been drowned out by the billions of energy drinks that have come out here in the last few years.
    Mmmm….ulcer


  7. Dawn (webmiztris) Says:

    i gotta tell ya, you’ve got me wanting to try that stuff. i heart cheap speed. :)


  8. flotsam Says:

    hilarious - is this the beta version? when will they ready to release the real thing here [UK]?


  9. Josh Says:

    Listen, when you’re ready to come down, try a Pabst Blue Ribbon - NMW. I found this one near SCNU - Foshan campus.


  10. Kevin S. Says:

    That stuff appeared about a year ago in Weifang. It is in plentiful supply here in Beijing. Personally, I think it tastes awful, but then you can’t argue with caffeine, and if you had a late night and an early class the next morning it’s definitely one way to make it through the morning.


  11. amanda chen Says:

    hi.lonnie,i ‘m one of your students.

    amanda88730.blogcn.com is my blog

    i hope u will enjoy it..

    amanda chen


  12. admin Says:

    Thanks all..

    A year ago?????

    Bwaaaa…All those sleepless nights I could’ve had….

    Keep it cold Josh!!!


  13. Onemanbandwidth: An American Professor in China » Blog Archive » SEO China 101 Says:

    […] point you all are aware that it is not a good idea to anger your SEO guy, right? Instead, buy him Coffee Cola to keep him working for you into the wee […]



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