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Cure for shortness

Air China flights from Tokyo to cities near the birthplace of the world’s tallest man Bao Xishun, also known as Xi Shun or “The Mast” (Simplified: 鲍喜顺; Traditional: 鮑喜順) born in 1951, are booked for the next three months in light of a recent discovery by barfoot doctors in the area.

Comissioned by the Chinese Olympic Committee to find undetectable growth substances to give to baketball and high-jump athletes they instead found a blocking agent for the genes known to breed shortness.

Several years too late for me–I stand at 170 cm–the substance causing the stir, Obecalp-A, is made from distilled Miongolian sheep bile. It is expected to recieve governmental approval in Japan even faster than did Tamilflu or Viagra.

Shortly, after Mongolian herdsman Xi Shun made news, the hunt was on for the reason he grew so tall. Bao Xishun claims to have been of normal height until he was 16 when he experienced a growth spurt that resulted in his present height seven years later. “Who would have thought it was the sheep?” said Xi Shun’s new wife. She hopes to pass six feet next year by taking the supplement.

There is already a huge underground market for the extract which is being called “Woolhite” in back alley pharmaceutical shops. Hong Kong authorities have already seized 330 million HK Dollars worth of the drug headed overseas and warn that side effects of poor production can include aimless wandering, sleep disorders, and uncontrolled bleating.

Related posts: Chinalawnblog

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8 Responses to “Chinese Herbal Remedy for Shortness Discovered….”


  1. PC Says:

    Brilliant Lonnie! Just like the Daily Mail used to do. Hope you liked Sinocidal’s….


  2. admin Says:

    You guys are spectacular…That is a full-blown riot!


  3. TaiTai Says:

    I’m already planning next year’s, and I’ve got my eye on you… :D
    Thanks, it was a laugh coming up with it! I must say though that we’ve had very few comments on our site today; I think people are just utterly confused. (That being the ultimate goal of course!)

    Lonnie, I keep getting caught in your spam trap, with my sinocidal details and my last PC username. Don’t know if you are able to unblock me?


  4. The Humanaught Says:

    rotfl.


  5. Maryam in Marrakesh Says:

    I have just booked a flight for month 4. I am sick and tired of wearing high heels. So much more practical this. I think my husband will find an occasional bleat endearing.


  6. Life In Suzhou China Blog | Adventures of the Humanaught » Blog Archive » Aprilfoolery with Chinese characteristics Says:

    […] never a guy who wants to be left out of a bit of fun, Lonnie’s OneManBandwidth had a wonderfully engaging article about a the source of the tallest man in the world’s height - a Mongolian miracle grow […]


  7. admin Says:

    I keep having to pulling your comments out of the spam filter…arrgh…

    Thanks for the email…They ARE getting through, but I do have to retrieve them…

    I need to lower the voltage in Akismet and Spam Karma, aye?

    Thanks….

    Mayam,

    I have a pitcher full here…On ice OK? Take off the heels and get ready to curl your hair…


  8. TaiTai Says:

    Thanks Lonnie. Maybe there’s a conflict if you’re running both filters, not sure how that works. Fingers crossed this one gets through!



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