How How Report… (3)
It is generally not my policy to hype off-topic businesses on Onemanbandwidth, but I made an exception in this case.
Ryan McLaughlin of Lost Laowai, Hao Hao Report, Dao by Design and dozens of other sites has reached back to his Canadian roots and come up with what could be a real gem of an online biz.
Following you will find excerpts from what you will soon find at Ryan McLaughlin.us. It is a refreshing change from most “Friend Finder” type sites:
BAG A CANUCK!
Have you dreamed of making love to a Canadian Guy, Aye?
Stop DREAMING and make that fantasy come true!
How to Bag a Canuck” is a 75 page e-book that tells you everything you need to find, attract and seduce a wild bacon bender from the 51st state:
- Where to find enchanting and eligible guys in wool caps in your neighborhood The names of the top ten cities in Canada and China where you are liable to meet dudes with snowshoes, eh?
- How to convince one, without illegal substances, in any country to become your personal Mountie!
- How to dress down to impress
- How to earn his admiration without looking like you are trying too hard and without having to sleep with his friends
- How to get to know him as well as the back of your snowmobile BEFORE you even think of asking him out
- How to write and compose the perfect online dating profile or letter so that he starts chasing you and not the moose in his garden
- What gifts to give him right down to the kinds of cheese and macaroni he would appreciate most
- What you need to know about her culture so that she not only accepts you as a lover but grows to share his sausages
- The Do’s and Don’ts of interracial dating and most…like not fighting over the last bag of pork rinds
- How to talk about the Canadian (ha) Military:
It doesn’t matter if the caribou lover you are longing for is a twenty year old “dog sledder” from Montreal or a 45-year-old six-time divorced business expat from mainland China. Our step-by-step guide for a first date works every time on every Canuck for every culture (and it is not the type of advice you will find in any other book!) Other books will simply give you a long list of suggestions for “creative” ideas for dates. We will tell you why the first date is no time to use your imagination! We will take you step-by-step through the entire First Date Ritual from shaving your nose hairs to how to bait a salmon rig.
In fact, this book asks you to forget everything you think you know about impressing a guy with ear flaps. We ask you to forget your creativity (which just looks like blundering around to a Canuck) and all of your preconceptions (which just looks like racism) by revealing:
- The one most important quality that Canadian guys revere in a partner: body heat
- The all-time worst thing you can do to turn him off in your initial email or communication: insult his dog
- The one physical gesture that will inspire him to have complete confidence in you: OK, now stand back up….
- Why your sense of humor may not seem so charming to him. How to avoid old jokes like What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common? Answer: The taste
Nobody understands snow fever better than the author who knows exactly how unbearable unrequited desire can be! The symptoms include anxiety, restlessness, a preoccupation with Nanook, Sgt. Preston and a longing to tussle between the sheets with a guy wearing walrus boots.
HOW TO DATE A NORTHER (Bag a Canuck) shows you how to understand each and every type of ice grinder – from the mildest to wildest and how they have learned to manipulate those stereotypes to drive you crazy with lust!
Although these men seem mysterious and complex, we will tell you the simple secrets (some of them based on ancient wisdom from his culture like how to make wine in a garbage bag) that will tame these proud beasties and have them eating out of your hand—not that its so unusual, but…. Much of it will surprise you! This book gets right into the psychological blubber of how to seduce him including the most important-
- G (Goose) Spot!
- How to honor every single part of his body from beaver pelt to wool socks including his hair, his neck, his eyes, his hairy, bejeweled lips, his breasts, his muzzle loader, his arms, his legs etc. and capture his love, devotion and sexual lack of imagination forever.
Nowhere, not in a bookstore, on the Internet or anywhere in Ontario will you find a book on how to seduce and bag a backwoodsman as thoroughly, safely (like jumpin’nekked over a bear trap) and psychologically intriguing as this one!
Knowing everything about him, from parka to pup tent, is one of the secrets to unleashing the passionate potential that you just know is lurking inside the Canuck that you meet in every day life — that mild-mannered Canadian that you see working as a Oral (he he) English Teacher or that gorgeous guy sleeping on the park bench. Or perhaps you simply catch a glimpse of a photograph online that simply makes you hold your breath (and maybe something else!)
Stop jerking around and get real about taking the steps necessary to find the hoser of your dreams! We will feel confident about saying that because we know that is exactly what you are doing rather than grasping the fact that a future with a real flesh and blood socialist is completely possible. Keep in mind too that this book was written by someone who understands you and why you may be so much at the mercy of these gorgeous creatures that you can’t seem to find the nerve to take those all important first steps towards promoting yourself as the lunker of his dreams!
- Do Canadians seem mysterious to you? Unattainable or even too good for you?
- Do you surf for wildlife anime as a substitute for a real sexual experience?
- Do Canadians constantly blow you right off when you try to approach them?
There is just no reason to go on single when you can learn to tell jokes like this:
Cold enough, aye?:
0 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadians plant gardens.
40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Canadians Sunbathe.
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won’t start
Canadians drive with the windows down
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.
0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Canadians rent some videos.
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen’s freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.
-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying “Cold enough for ya? ”
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Cup
You will learn the most important Canadian Holidays:
12-> Lawyers Day
11-> Start of Christmas Season Day
10-> False Labour Day
9-> Make a Move on Your Secretary Day
8-> Hallmark Card Day
7-> Bring Your Handgun to Work Day
6-> Cretienmas or Gomery Inquiry Day
5-> Deadbeat Father’s Day
4-> Bad Hair Day
3-> Doris Day
2-> St. Hooter’s Day
1-> Hash Wednesday
You will learn the subtle differences in speech that will arouse your mate.
You will hear the intonations that make Black pepper, white pepper and toilette pepper unique.
As someone who loves guys from the territories, women you know that they sexually supreme beings who are just as fierce and erotic as the characters you see in Call of the Wild, Norbet Does saskatecewan Sasketchuan, sacatchyouone, Ontario, the silver screen, Northwest Outpost, and Classics illustrated comic books. ..
This book also teaches you the secrets of coming onto him without appearing like a player or a racist including advice on:
- Common Canuck customs : You won’t actually have to light your farts, but it helps to know the customs…
- How to get him to see you as a movie star like Jeanette McDonald…
- How to win the approval of her family: bring Lablatts and act as though you “get” the commercials when they air…
Stop dreaming and make it a reality.
Download coming soon!
Posted 31 March, 2008 in april fools joke, The Sharpest Guy on the Planet, 中国, 中文, China Expat, Ryan Mclaughlin, Asian Dating Site, 中原, Internet Dating, Just Plain Strange, Asian Humor, China Humor, Humor, China Expats, Intercultural Issues, Weird China, China Photos, Expats, China web 2.0
Whose Comments Are They Anyway? (1)
Reputation Management and Manipulation of the Internet
In addition to water-boarding it is apparent that government interpreters world-wide now learn social media, SEO and RSS management during their program of study. It is no secret that many blog comments on opinion-shaping sites are made by full-time surfers or “trolls” as some call them, with nationalist or agency mandated agendas; some get paid for their performance. The real weapons of mass destruction in a digital world are words and the technology is readily available even when we don’t send fuses to Taiwan.
Several recent comments, meant to manipulate media have come back to deservedly sound-bite the perpetrators in their virtual asses.
John McCain campaign aide, Soren Dayton was suspended from the campaign because he Twittered a link to a YouTube video blasting Barack Obama’s minister. And the Chinese government was a bit slow on the draw when they led reporters into the lama’s den in Lhasa last week.
Multi-national companies now hire ethical as well dubious administrators of propaganda to sow seeds of content across the blogsphere when a ruthless competitor, frustrated consumer or PR gaff has sent a brand or image into the cyber-stool. Internet Word of Mouth is an ICBM with a guidance system that can be more unpredictable than a cold war space laser.
I read a news release today written by the folks at 5fad.com. 5fad.com is suing Baidu.com for copyright infringement and then speculating, during trial, about the outcome and impact of the verdict.
Written in something akin to English and suspiciously fed out of a UK media outlet, the release contains suppositions meant to influence public opinion in advance of a judicial ruling.
Some highlights: “The MP3 search engine is of crucial importance for Baidu.com to gain an advantageous position in its competition with its business rival, Google.com. Once the MP3 search engine service is ruled unlawful, Baidu.com’s leading position in the search engine market may topple” Remember that this news release was written by the Plaintiff!
The take a break from legal commentary to do an infomercial about 5Fad: “5fad.com, ranking among 2007 Red Herring Asia Top 100, was founded in 2003. Though headquartered in Hangzhou, it has branch offices in Beijing, Seoul, Tokyo and New York…5fad.com is the leading digital entertainment and culture company in China. Its service network covers a total population of 300 million.” With a Google Page Rank of 4 and a purported audience more than twice the size of the China Internet user base the claim is dubious at best.
I have become so jaundiced that when JWT’s Tom Doctoroff, a man I have long respected as an authority on China, makes statements concerning Tibet like:”…I instinctively empathize with the impulses of the protesters” I wonder if he is just careless and failing to weigh the consequences of the potential spin of his comments as sympathy for murder or arson? Or I question whether or not the soon-to-be Olympic torch bearer has intentionally inserted psycho-linguistically charged language about Tibet, in an article written against calls for an Olympic boycott, in order to draw in more readers for the Huffington Post?
I am a poet and the keeper of an online diary. I am not a journalist or political pundit in blogger’s clothes. I love and cherish the written word–despite my occasional acts of grammatical or stylistic annihilation. And because I am a creative writer I attempt to ferret out the real meanings of a work and the reasons for the choice of diction.
I am becoming less cavalier about reading or writing. I now am casting a cold eye on much of what comes to me via RSS or social networks and so it seems should we all….
Update: Head over to ESNW for an important addendum to the newest China Photogate…
Posted 29 March, 2008 in SEM, Chinese Media, SEO, Internet marketing China, Seo China, Violence, Human Rights, Taiwan, Human Rights China, Beijing Olympics, SEO China Expert, Chinese Internet, The Internet, China Olympics, China Editorials, Intercultural Issues, War, Personal Notes, cartoons, Censorship, 中国, In the news, Tibet, China web 2.0
Doing Business in China (4)
Doing Business in China Guide
Part 1
(whew!)
This is our latest series on doing business in China. In these posts, our advice will correspond to the thirty-six strategies designed by the ancient and great Song general and strategist Tan Daoji–that is, we predicate all this advice on never using the 36 strategies as a way to do business in China. We have bookshelves stacked full of expensive kindling labeled “how to do business in China” that we will later use to heat our house.
The first listed strategy is “Deceiving the Heavens to Cross the Sea,” or man tian guo hai(And no, it’s not a reference to a sea-going Dali clique). While the strategy typically involves deception and refers to an advisor who got the Emperor of the Tang Dynasty so drunk and engaged in feasting for three days that the ruler had no idea he was on a boat–akin to the Beijing guides who accompanied press on yesterday’s “Meet the Lamas” broadcast.
Instead of learning to deceive the heavens, your best bet to getting introduced to China is learning some Chinese. Among our billions of dollars of unread books, unopened CDs, and untouched lessons, here are some tools we actually used to learn the language and culture of China:
The Rosetta Stone: though sometimes maligned for its interface, we give props to the English-free interface of the program and its integration of reading of and listening to Chinese characters from the beginning.
FSI language courses: a full and free year’s worth of free Chinese language instruction. This is the stuff the diplomats used to use and despite that it is hands down a great free tool for helping people learn to pronounce and listen to standard Chinese.
Chinesepod: Have a random question about Chinese? Allergic to parsley? Unsure about a specific word for sports? Head for Chinesepod. With a vibrant community of online learners, free daily podcasts, and a great selection of different tools like flashcards and online lesson reviews, Chinesepod’s collective of learners deserves its rock-star status on the net.
Lost Laowai: As always, well crafted by Ryan; Canadian accent comes free of charge, aye.
Berlitz: The only “learn Chinese in 30 minutes!” that actually works.
The next step is to get some culture (God knows we could use a lot more):
Lost Laowai, offers up real-life experiences of expats in China. We are hoping for the reality show to displace “swin in China.”
The HaoHao Report, everyman’s aggregator with Digg-like China focused features.
Panda Passport: Everything about China cyberspace you wanted to know but were afraid you’d get busted for on an IP violation.
RConversation, the most harmonious blend of blogging and citizen journalism on the web.
CDT, all the news from China blocked in China.
ESWN, a blog that brings together news from the East and the West–not the best in its class, but rather a species by itself.
Global Voices: China. The World is Listening. Are you?
China Herald, all the news that fit for bandwidth.
Cal Poly MBA Trip, a blog from the MBA Program with no ballast to throw overboard.
Thomas Crampton, former correspondent for the International Hong Kong International Herald Tribune, Mr. Crampton shares on-the-ground and insider info about the latest web innovations and websphere happenings in Hong Kong and greater China.
Imagethief, named for his photography habits and not for any actual Interpol related activity, is the creator of such marvels as the Stupidvator. a blog to lightens the cargo of the China blogosphere.
China Rises: Journalist and great story teller Robert Johnson: The only chief corresponsdent in China with hand-written instructions and a GPS reporter locator given by Central Government for any coverage of Tibet the Olympics.
China Blog List: a comprehensive guide to the many blogs passing us in the night.
The Opposite End of China: Life’s a Riot, and this blog reports on it. Veteran journalist Manning is as good as it gets and still chooses to farm tomatoes along the silk road.
More to come…
Posted 28 March, 2008 in Charity in China, 中文, Podcasts China, Chinese Proverbs, Chinese Media, Search Engine Marketing, China Book Reviews, SEO China Expert, China Business Consultant, Book Review, 中国人口福利基金会, Cal Poly, 中原, China Law, China Expat, china books, Seach engine Optimization, SEM, Teaching in China, China Editorials, China Cartoons, Intercultural Issues, Top China Blogs List, China web 2.0, Book Reviews, China Business, Confucius Slept Here, Internet marketing China, SEO, Seo China, Chinese Internet, 中国, The Internet, China SEO
You Gotta Have Friends… (3)
A few years ago I was in a Hong Kong software shop when suddenly a shrill voice began shouting what I now know was Cantonese for, “Cheese it the cops!”
Within seconds the metal gate to the entrance was electronically being lowered and like some character in a low-budget HK martial arts flick I had to dive under the door to keep from being trapped inside.
And it was a good thing I made it out as at as fast I did because five of–I am sure of this–the largest policemen in Hong Kong came in short order to kick the door down and begin demolishing what must have been bootleg DVDs and software knock-offs. A few seconds later in my departure and I might have been making my way back to America on the next cargo plane one-way.
There have been a number of measures implemented since that time in HK to ensure that consumers, many of whom are mainland tourists, get authentic products. The fake Rolex guys are still on every street corner, but are transparent about the quality of their goods. But, a consistently reputable shop with static sales people is hard to find. Though I think I might value the fakes in HK more than the i-Bods and i-Fones and Rolez watches sold in the mainland.
Soon after my brush with deportation I sought out a trustworthy and found one I have frequented for the last three years. I do not buy anywhere else in HK: It is a tiny shop called Suntekco at Haiphong road, nearby the South Entrance of Kowloon Park. It is the first shop on the left as you head straight away from the Starbucks outside of the Marco Polo Hotel. Phone: (852) 2376 2915
Every salesman, in a shop hardly big enough in which to change your mind, is an expert on any electronic or photographic device new or old. And if you need to save a few dollars, and a generic lens will take the same quality pictures as the brand named version, they will tell you. Too, I have never even produced a receipt when returning merchandise (2X in three years and once it was due to user error) and my goods have been replaced without question.
They have dozens of customers each hour passing through yet can remember my name and that of my friends as well as every piece of equipment I have ever purchased. It doesn’t get any better than that.
This is not a paid infomercial, but a letter of gratitude. I should have written it a long ago because I call the folks at Suntek friends now and love nothing more than to see good friends succeed. Head over to the Dreamblogue and see some of the great pictures David and I have taken with discount gear purchased for us at Suntek Camera Store by the sponsors of the dreamblogue.
I have my eye on a 16-gig i-Phone and the lightning fast new Canon, but as it is for me, I have a few paychecks to squeeze some change from before I head back to HK.
Posted 22 March, 2008 in Camera shop in Hong Kong, China Business Consultant, Sunteck Camera Hong Kong, Photo Equipment, Cal Poly, 中文, Wholesale Electronics China, Expats, Photos, 中国, Wholesale Products China, Hong Kong
Project Happiness in Beijing (1)
The Chinese Apprentice-type TV show ‘Win in China” started with 150,000 candidates, and now only 11 are left. One of them is theonly foreigner to ever make the cut: Henry Winter’s final project for all the marbles involves supporting a wonderfully worthy cause: Project Happiness. The charity’s website: PROJECT HAPPINESS (in Chinese) indicates that it gives micro-loans to needy rural Chinese women starting businesses to supportthemselves. Henry’s task is to rally as many supporters as possible for the cause. He is going to need our help!!
Expats and local residents in Beijing are asked to come by and support Henry and a valuable humanitarian cause at the same time. To assist simply head for the third floor of ShiJi JinYuan Mall, West Third Ring Road (near Suzhou Bridge) in Beijing between 11 and 1 on Sunday the 23rd of March.
Let the games, and good works, begin!!
Posted 22 March, 2008 in Project Happiness, China Expat, 慈善, 慈善事业, 中国人口福利基金会, 幸福工程, 中文, Charity in China, China Business, China Editorials, 中国, Chinese Internet, Chinese Media, China Expats
Knowing nothing…. (17)
Sorrow makes us all children again….
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yesterday, I judged applicants seeking a place on the college debate team. All of them risked a memory of failure and gave of themselves in earnest to become better as scholars, speakers and friends of their own success. And I was tasked with deciding which of these students, all of whom I admire and unavoidably care for, would be asked to sit out their desire.
I don’t agree that learning through failure is a required part of any student’s curriculum. They are not employees, they are children orphaned to astonishment, passion and fear. They begin their short orbits in a new life surrounded by teachers–who can, with a single touch or softly spoken word, change their paths forever. Sometimes.
I can remember hundreds of my students; I can tell you where many of them sat in classrooms that may no longer even exist. I can tell you how lightly or heavily my pen fell upon names on the final grade report and why I judged them as I did…
I remember most, those students who replenished my love for teaching when I had lost the courage to further their goals or provoke a hint of change. Tonight, I am at an intersection of rage and bewilderment because one of those precious few chose to fall away from us so fast that no one could react in time to catch her.
A thespian, scholar, and delightful master of the ascerbic, she was one of the original founders and ideas makers for the Blog of Dreams. She was accepted to study in America, but denied a visa because of the immigration status problems inherent in acceptance to the Disney Internship Program where she spent a summer. She was subsequently denied a visa to attend Cornell, but kept her suitcase packed with dreams of travel and learning. I don’t know what changed or what could have tempted her to change her plans.
Dear Defiant Chennie,
I am a child again tonight. I want so much to believe that I misunderstood the news of your death. I want to wish your awkward avalanches of laughter back to invoke the best in me again. I want you to give us all another chance to raise your inner landscape high enough to break your fall.
Your teacher knows nothing, but this: You are now without passports, beyond borders And I hope you are on to some new opportunity, guided now by accomplished, and enduring angels.
.
Posted 21 March, 2008 in Macau University of Science and Technology, Chinese Education, 澳门科技大学, Chennie Xue, Heartsongs, 中国, Asian Women, Teaching in China, China Photos, Uncategorized
Zhu Lu Zhongyuan… (2)
How is this for synchronicity?:
I study at least one Chinese idiom, parable or allegory a day. Today, honestly, I opened my study text and immediately saw:
At whose hand the deer will die is unknown
It is an idiom that implies that the outcome of a struggle or rivalry is still undecided. It has roots in the first Han dynasty in 203 B.C..
The story behind the idiom takes place in what was once known as “China Proper” which originated in the Tibetan Plateau and was bordered by the Yellow and Yangze rivers: The advisor to Han Xin, King of Qi, urged the King to break away from the Emperor Liu Bang. In 196 Han was executed for plotting a rebellion even though he had not followed the advice given to him by one Kuai Tong.
Later Kuai Tong was brought to Liu to be executed. Kuai Tong told the emperor among other things: ” A dog barks at people, not because it is bad, but because they are not his master. At the time my duty was to help Han Xingain gain power, so to execute me would be unjust.”
Liu Bang pardoned him.
I am hoping for the same fate for other Yellow River inhabitants showing support for their beliefs. I am hoping for the safety of my friends very near the confrontations. I am praying for an end to the violent conflicts– though the outcome of the struggle may long be undecided…
Posted 16 March, 2008 in Human Rights, Violence, 中文, Human Rights China, China Law, Chinese Proverbs, Chinese Media, Tibet, In the news, 中国, Censorship, China Editorials
Anthropology…. (0)
I have been traveling a lot lately and despite 2,000,000+ miles in the air I am not a good frequent flyer. I don’t want to add to anyone else’s fears, but I think flight phobia is a misnomer: I think anxiety over being seat-belted onto a flammable pop can hurtling through the stratosphere at 500 miles an hour is a rational response to an unnatural situation. but I digress…
I recently discovered a temporary cure for in-flight panic: Anthropology by Dan Rhodes. I bought it in Beijing because it contained 101 extremely short works. You see, since I usually re-read (80-100 times) the first paragraph in traditional story collections–in between guesses about the glide ratio of a 757 (about the same as a rock)–during turbulence; I thought a group of one-paragraph tales would be a perfect buy. And so it was.
Anthropology is a collection of fantastic tales about girlfriends real and imagined; micro fiction (10-300 or so words long) that makes breakneck turns from comedy to tragedy and all the way back in a sigh or a chortle; all of them land somewhere in that delightful place between the sad last questions of Pablo Neruda and the joyful madess of Garcia-Marquez’s melancholoy whores.
For once I am delighted to read and re-read pieces like this:
I loved an anthropologist. She went to Mongolia to study the gays. At first she kept their culture at arm’s length, but eventually she decided that her fieldwork would benefit from some assimilation. she worked hard to become as much like them as possible and gradually was accepted. After a while she ended our romance by letter. It breaks my heart to think of her herding those yaks in the freezing hills, the peak of her leather cap shielding her eyes from the driving wind, her wrist dangling away, and nothing but a handlebar mustache to keep her top lip warm.
Hey, do read them: they are lots cheaper than anti-anxiety meds and refills are free.
Posted 16 March, 2008 in Travel in China, American Professor in China, China Expat, Book Review, 中国, cartoons, Humor, Asian Humor, Intercultural Issues, Book Reviews
China: No Country for Compliments (0)
I was at Web Wednesday in Hong Kong last week when a veteran expat in China shared with me a new version of a very familiar story.
My friend spoke of traveling to America with a Chinese love interest. It was the first visit abroad for the Chinese half of the couple. Ans after a few days in the land that invented super-sizing the first time tourist said to my friend, “You don’t seem fat at all compared to other Americans.”
One of the things you will get over VERY quickly in China is the need for validation by students, colleagues or friends. The Chinese don’t give one another a break, so don’t expect one for yourself. Sure, they will hand you a compliment, but….
Even with all of the fawning that goes on with a new foreign male or young female teacher there is always an addendum…. Here are but a couple real ones.
–”Your classes are less boring than the last teacher’s…”
–”I will tell you the secret: many students think you are very handsome, including me. But, you have no muscle. Just do some more exercise. Do you love Tennis?”
–”Here is the name of the girl who is in the hospital. It would be nice for you to call her, but don’t say anything. It might upset her.”
–”Maggie, you are very pretty, even with a big bum.”
And even the the most recognizable foreigner in China, DaShan (pictured above), has his moments. Here is a man who was recognized by the government as one of the most influential foreigners of the 90’s in China. On his personal website he has had to settle for a testimonial from the Chinese media in Shenzhen: “…not the least bit inferior to top Chinese performers.”
My students who, when actually speaking, will often do so using the Papal “We”. They recently told me about an earlier teacher (a favorite topic) who was frustrated that he could not elicit responses from the group: “We think he talked too much and didn’t let us speak.” I asked the group if they thought he may have just not understood that the Chinese idiom, “The nail that sticks up gets beaten down,” was still a social mandate (suspended for criticism of teachers, of course) of which he was not aware. I went on to ask whether or not they thought that he might have been confused or even a bit intimidated and subsequently talked more to alleviate his anxiety. They responded that “all of us think” he should have been more knowledgeable about how to teach Chinese students. And then they went on to criticize foreign teachers for not staying around more than a year at a time–the government mandated length of a normal, albeit renewable, teaching contract.
So, now when they ask me how I like teaching here I say, “We like it. It is good preparation for a career as a correctional officer in an American penitentiary.”